Being pregnant one always look forward to the first scan, that first time you get to see your little bean/raisin/peanut/miracle/or-what-ever-you-decide-to-call-it. It is such a magical moment. So I am told, quite frankly, if I am to be brutally honest, it was a bit. Dissapointing.
It may be that because this is not my first time at the circus I kind of want to make the clowns stop frollicking about and just want them to get to the good stuff. Maybe it was my mindset<I had a humdinger of a fight with just about everyone that I came in contact with that day and more specifically the boss-man, really I should be locked up when I am this hormonaly, society will be safer that way.>
Any the way, so there I am, knees in the air, letting a man I had met a scant 5 minutes ago get to what must be considered ‘home base’ <Usually I would require dinner and at least a couple bottles of wine before putting out like that> all for the sake of getting a sneak peek…and for my troubles I get a blurry image of a grey blob. Which I managed to lose.
If you have ever been for a gynaecological exam, you know that it is possibly the most undignified exam on the planet, perhaps with the slight exception of the ‘old school’ prostate exams, and perhaps it is just me, but I always find it difficult to look the doctor in the eye after one of these exams, the gynaecological ones, not the prostate ones-obviously. I am never sure what would be the correct etiquette to follow. Is there some sort of special ‘pillow talk’ that one has to engage in? Am I supposed to call again the next day, honestly I find the whole thing very confusing.
So I did what any self-respecting woman would do…tried to diffuse the situation with some humour. Which is surprisingly difficult when someone has a wand roughly the size of a pogo stick up your what-tcha-ma-call-it. You can’t tell s.e.x jokes because they would just be weird and akward. Maybe this speaks to what kind of person I really am, but I dont know any ‘clean’ jokes-do you?
I cringe when I think of what I actually did say…it is that bad.
I actually said: “Congratulations…it is a blob.”
Judging by the arch of his eyebrow it is definately going to be difficult to make eye contact next appointment.