I am still alive…

I have been so bogged down with depression that I scarcely have any memory of the past couple of months post birth. I have gone in to hiding, only existing.

Breathing because I have to, looking after the kids because I have to and not doing much else except sleep. That I can manage. Lots and lots of sleep.

So off I went to my GP to get a prescription that is okay to use while breastfeeding, hoping that it will sort of drag me out of this quagmire, only to find that I have lost a month.  Seriously? A whole fecking month. Gone.

So it is back to the drawing board.

I have to decide what is more important.  My mental health or feeding my son?

I am really proud of the fact that I managed to get the breastfeeding thing right this time around.  It is my little life raft that makes me feel like I am not a complete failure as a mother. Call it my mantra if you will.  So now what?

I think I will go sleep on it.

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One thought on “I am still alive…

  1. Been here. I chose to medicate my brain and bottle feed my daughter for both of our sakes. But it’s a highly personal thing. Good luck and sterkte to you and keep blogging . It works for me!

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