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Hello old friend

I am a horrible blogger.  Life just got so busy and in all honesty the things I was going through was not something I could put out there on the interwebs, because it wasn’t just mine to share. But now things are returning to some form of normalcy, well as normal as they can be in my house (read: head)

What a  rollercoaster year it has been since the last time I was on here. To start of with, we moved house.  We finally took the plunge and bought our own place.  Bliss! 

We have made news friends, some we lost, but time moves on and so must we.

We got a bit of a surprise in May…another set of little feet that can steal car keys and unpack my wallet in Pick and Pay trolleys. And this time, it is a GIRL! What a mind blowing prospect. From the time I found out I was expecting again (once the shock wore off). I was mentally preparing myself for another little boy, thinking, it is is okay, I have this raising boys thing down to an art form. We can do this.  Now? Well, now it is a whole different ball game.  

The biggest change of all is the fact that I (with my amazing husband’s support) have decided to quit my job and become a stay at home mom. Who would have thought.  

Me?

A stay at home mom? If you had suggested that to me 5 years ago I would have told you to stop drinking your bathwater.  But there it is.

In 12 days I am finishing my notice period and trading in the morning commute to town for the morning school run.

I am scared.  I am stressed. I am freaking out….just a little bit (okay maybe a lot).

What if I suck? Will I make it out alive…will the kids make it out alive?

Will one of them (or all), in 20 years time, lie on the couch in their Therapists office and pinpoint the time where it all ‘went wrong’ to the day I decided to stay home with them.

Only time will tell or perhaps the school psychologist.  But that is a problem for another day.

For now I will follow Douglas Adams’ advice…

-Don’t panic-

 

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I am still alive…

I have been so bogged down with depression that I scarcely have any memory of the past couple of months post birth. I have gone in to hiding, only existing.

Breathing because I have to, looking after the kids because I have to and not doing much else except sleep. That I can manage. Lots and lots of sleep.

So off I went to my GP to get a prescription that is okay to use while breastfeeding, hoping that it will sort of drag me out of this quagmire, only to find that I have lost a month.  Seriously? A whole fecking month. Gone.

So it is back to the drawing board.

I have to decide what is more important.  My mental health or feeding my son?

I am really proud of the fact that I managed to get the breastfeeding thing right this time around.  It is my little life raft that makes me feel like I am not a complete failure as a mother. Call it my mantra if you will.  So now what?

I think I will go sleep on it.

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It’s been a while…

I know I have been playing hooky.

Might be a bit late, but I hope everyone had a good christmas and here’s to a prosperous year.
Let’s start this year with a bang, or rather a rub.  Just in case you need some help….

Dry Humping An Adequate Sex Alternative For Teens, Says Weird, Unsolicited Report From Department Of Interior

January 19, 2012 | ISSUE 48•03

The comprehensive dry-humping report, which nobody asked for.

WASHINGTON—According to Beltway sources, confused White House staffers arrived at their desks Wednesday to find a meticulously researched, entirely unrequested report from the Interior Department assessing dry humping as a suitable sex alternative for teenagers.

The uncomfortably in-depth 900-page document, which outlines the benefits of clothed genital stimulation versus fully penetrative sex, reportedly baffled administration officials, who confirmed they generally associate the department with its role in managing natural resources and administering programs for Native Americans.

“I find this all extremely odd, to say the least,” said White House deputy chief of staff Nancy-Ann DeParle, thumbing through a large three-ring binder emblazoned with the department’s American bison seal. “Reducing teen STD and pregnancy rates is important, of course, but this falls so far outside Interior’s purview that…well, I don’t even know how to respond to this, to be quite honest.”

“How could they possibly have found the time or funding for an in-depth study of dry humping?” DeParle added. “I’m certain we didn’t commission this.”

A copy of the report obtained by members of the press reveals it to be a heavily researched work that begins with a heartfelt, dry-sex-positive foreword by Interior Secretary Ken Salazar. Also included is a detailed history of the practice, from the Victorian-era practice of frottage—meaning “to rub”—to the modern teen trend of freaking or “sandwich dancing,” whereby two partners interlock legs and grind their genitals together in rhythm with popular music.

“The pantomiming of intercourse prior to the onset of mature sexual relationships is a phenomenon one observes in many cultures,” reads one section of the report. “It’s natural for budding, aroused adolescents to explore erogenous-zone stimulation with a partner, and when it comes to achieving physical gratification without disrobing, teens have many options available to them. Young males will even find that ejaculation is not uncommon.”

Another section, credited to the department’s Office of Surface Mining Reclamation and Enforcement, ranks the best places to engage in dry humping using a statistical “dry-pleasure coefficient,” or DPE—a new metric  the Department of the Interior developed solely for the report. The study indicates a soft couch in the finished basement of a mutual friend’s house has the highest-known DPE, making it the top location for fully clothed teens to vigorously mount each other.

The Interior Department, founded in 1849 to oversee federal land management, has never been responsible for dealing with adolescent sexuality in any official capacity.

“Comprehensiveness notwithstanding, it’s a little alarming that anyone over there knows this much about dry humping, whether anecdotally or through direct observation,” said White House communications director Dan Pfeiffer, referring to a section of the report that evaluates various ointments that can be used to treat chafed genitals following heavy friction. “For Christ’s sake, these people have 58 national parks to run.”

“And some of these studies go all the way back to 1995, so obviously they’ve been working on this for a while,” he continued. “By all outward indications, this looks to be a labor of love.”

Despite calling the report “unsettling” and “difficult to read for more than a few minutes at a time,” administration staffers acknowledged its conclusions were valid on the whole, and should be applauded for their objectivity and nonjudgmental tone. Sources said that aside from some of the more graphic and largely speculative sections on teen vibrator play contributed by the U.S. Geological Survey, much of the research might even be suitable for sex-education curricula.

Interior Department officials were summoned Wednesday afternoon to confirm authorship of the report, their first since a Jan. 6 brief on fluctuations in the seasonal wolf population of northern Wyoming.

“We’d be more than happy to further discuss any of our findings,” a department spokes­man said. “All questions can be directed to Secretary Salazar’s office.”

“But I think we’ve made our point,” he added.

Article by The Onion.

Thanks Ri for sending me this, really made my morning.

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Time flies when you are having fun

My *sis is graduating today.  I cannot believe it.

When I met my husband she was in grade four and still wore pigtails.  Where has the time gone?

I was reminiscing this morning that I bought her first miniskirt, and she refused to wear it because it was too short. In fact she made her mom return it to the store for a bigger size so that it would sit lower and thus be longer.  Now, well perhaps I am just an old fuddy duddy, but she wears skirts that I would classify as a belt.

In the wink of an eye she is all grown up and wearing her graduation gown in a couple of hours.

Sis I am so incredibly proud of you!

Much love

xxx

*Sister-in-law

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Heart friends

It has been a very emotional couple of months for me.  There has been drama at work, drama at home and all these little things that keep on piling up that make me want to crawl into a hole and never come out of it.  I have been retreating further and further to lick my wounds.  I try and smile and pretend that everything is okay, when really it couldn’t be further from the truth.

My whole life I have felt like an impostor, like I don’t belong.

I live in fear that I will be unmasked, to be shown to be the social leper that I really am and shunned for it.  It is probably due to some deep-seated self-esteem issues, but for the life of me I cannot think why anyone would want to spend time with me and I am deeply suspicious when they do, because I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. <I sound coo-coo for coco-puffs right?>

I have a hand full of friends that somehow managed break through this layer of worthlessness and doubt that I have built around me, and in truth they were the ones that has kept me standing the past couple of months.  This post is dedicated to them, to thank them for being there, my silent crutches that swooped up and picked me up when I felt I could no longer continue. I truly love you all.

I was amazed that one of these friends, in her quiet manner, seemed to see right into heart of me.

Due to her personal circumstances she was not able to see me for my birthday and only managed to wish me a happy birthday yesterday.  She gave me the best gift I have ever received.  The gift itself was simple, a book on how generosity changes one’s life and a compact mirror, but the message behind it moved me to tears.

The book, she said reminded her of me, of how I care and try to help others.

The mirror was because I needed to be reminded  just how beautiful I am.

I sobbed like a baby.  It wasn’t pretty at all. There were snot bubbles.  It was just what I needed.

I am no good at speaking my mind that is why I write. So, without further ado:

Thank you M for being there, for listening, even though you are going through a trying time yourself and needed me more than I you. You are a true friend and made me realise that no matter how dark it gets out there, there are still people that bring light into our lives and it is on them that we can (and should) count. Thank you for shining and inspiring me to do the same. I ♥ you.

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Evil is amongst us

Every mother’s nightmare is having to hear that the school her child attends is no longer a place of safety, but has instead become the hunting ground for a predator (for they can no longer be called human).  One that preys on innocent kids for their own perverse pleasures.

There was a recent incident in Melkbos and now parents in Balfour are petitioning against the bail application of a 71 year old man that is the owner of a crèche whom it has been found has sexually assaulted two kids. Every day, more of these kids come forward.

I am heartbroken that a  friend is living this nightmare, her daughter came forward as another victim.  There are no words to convey her pain.

This is one subject that really riles me, and it is really sad that is seen as a taboo discussion topic.

The question that is foremost on everyone’s mind, did his wife, and co-owner of the crèche know about this?  And if she did why did she keep quiet and allow this to go on under her roof, with kids that were entrusted into her care?

I have often wondered about the psychology surrounding this.  Often when kids do come forward with these things they are not believed and that seems to perpetuate the cycle of not telling, as apparently happened in Balfour.

What is shocking is that in this year alone between January and June there has been 95,120 children who reported sexual abuse (Statistic from Children’s Advocacy Centre Statistics)

Of the 116,000 alleged offenders investigated for instances of child abuse

  • 75,829 were 18+ years old
  • 11,973 were ages 13 to 17 years
  • 7,911 were under age 13 years
  • 45,496 were a parent or step-parent of the victim
  • 23,763 were related to the child victim in another way
  • 36,628 were an unrelated person the victim knew

I think our natural defence against something like this is to pretend is doesn’t happen because it is just so terrible to acknowledge that a person that we know and love is capable of inflicting such harm on an innocent.

Although I was unable to find the statistic to give the exact numbers, I know that a very large part of the perpetrators were actually abused themselves as kids. I cannot imagine someone inflicting that particular kind of hell on someone else, especially when you have had to live through it yourself.

I am sorry, no matter what you have gone through, that is not reason enough to ruin the life of another, especially a child. No amount of jail time can make up for what has been stolen.

This is one wrong that cannot be righted, you cannot replace innocence.

My thoughts and prayers are with my friend and her family (especially her little girl) I hope that this too, shall pass.

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Something old, something new…

Today marks three years since we said I do.

To mark this memorable occasion the husband asks me this morning whether I expect him to remember what year we got married in.  Confused I asked him why? Oh he says,  prisoners with a life sentence don’t normally remember the year they were incarcerated in do they, they just know they got life.

Chivalry is dead. As a door nail.

None the less I dusted off the old album and got all nostalgic when looking at the photos.  It really was a wonderful day and the most fun I have ever had. Incarcerate me any day!